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Leadership in Question

For People’s Lives to Change We Must Change Our Questions

J.R. Briggs

Who do you know who asks great questions?

What do they do to cultivate those good questions?

What is it about the power of a question?

Have you ever wondered why we don’t ask thoughtful and significant questions in our culture more often?

Is it that we don’t know how? Are we too impatient, prideful, uninterested, or unaware? Or are we fearful – afraid of what we might find out about others – or ourselves?

What might it say about a leader who doesn’t ask questions?

What might questions provide in leadership roles that answers simply cannot?

What if the current paradigm of leader-as-expert was replaced with the paradigm of leader-as-lead-questioner?

. . .

The late organizational guru Peter Drucker said, “The leader of the past may have been the person who knew how to tell, but certainly the leader of the future will be a person who knows how to ask.” With the heavy use of the internet and the pervasive presence of smartphones and other devices, availability of information is, quite literally, at our fingertips. With our advancing technology – now even with A.I. – we don’t even need our fingers. With a voice command, we are capable of retrieving information faster and more easily than at any time in human history. With the ubiquity of Google, do we really need leaders who need to know all the right answers? And if we are looking for better answers, should we not start by asking better questions?

In its least common denominator, leadership is about trust and connection. It’s ultimately not about charisma, education, or brilliance. It’s not about gravitas or title or prestige. In this cultural moment, with too much information, fraught with cynicism and too little trust and connection, we don’t need smarter or more eloquent or more efficient leaders; instead, we need wiser, deeper, more engaged leaders.

Wisdom is developed and depth is cultivated not by knowing all the answers, but by cultivating humility to learn, insatiable curiosity to observe, patience to listen, compassion to see and hear others, and the courage to wonder. Few things create the foundation of connection and relationship more than humility. Wisdom is gained in the quality and the frequency of the questions we ask of ourselves, of God, and others. Wise leaders ask questions. I’m convinced that what the world so desperately needs right now are leaders who ask the right questions at the right time to the right people for the right reason. The challenge and invitation for us as leaders in our current age is this: can we see the importance and significance of asking honest, compassionate, incisive, courageous questions of God, ourselves, and others?

Questions are a gift we offer to others. When people ask you questions – and truly care to know you and your story, it’s a gift – a valuable gift – isn’t it? Asking great questions gives hope, opens up new possibilities, adds value, cultivates opportunities for deeper connection, and provides meaning to others and ourselves. Like a surgeon uses a scalpel to make an incision on a patient in the operating room to provide healing, leaders can deftly use questions like a scalpel on people’s hearts.  I’ve found that the greatest questions asked are personal – so personal that they draw blood, not to hurt or cause damage, but to bring healing.

. . .

The Greek philosopher Socrates (469 to 399 BC) is considered one of the founders of Western philosophy. His method of question-asking, the Socratic method, placed a high value on inquiry-based dialogue that led to learning. He used questions to draw out conclusions from others that could not have occurred through mere answers. Socrates died at the age of 71 because people,  specifically three men, Anytus, Meletus, and Lycon, viewed him as a threat. He stood trial and was found guilty, ultimately forced to drink poisonous hemlock. Why? Because he asked questions. People believed that Socrates’ questions, not his answers, poisoned the minds of the youth of Athens.

Socrates often used two metaphors to describe the role of questions. The first was a horsefly, intended to sting people to get their attention – and to get them moving. The second was that of a midwife. Socrates’ mode of inquiry-based dialogue, a method that draws ideas and perspectives out of someone, is called the maieutic (may–oo-dek) method. Maieutic comes from the Greek word which means midwife. Socrates’ mother was a midwife. He, too, believed that through his questions, he was a midwife, drawing out new life with others. The best questions are so powerful they either sting or bring new life –  and sometimes both.

. . .

In our Christian faith, Jesus is identified as many things: savior, Lord, redeemer, rescuer, master teacher – even leader. And many in our culture are quick to revere him as the Answer Man. Even our bumper stickers claim Jesus is the answer to all of our questions. But few, if any, see Him as the Man of Questions. As Christians, we study Jesus’ miracles, stories, parables, teachings, healings, and interactions with others. But how many of us have devoted significant time to exploring Jesus’ questions? There is rich learning to be had by exploring the questions Jesus asked, as well as the way He asked them and the impact those questions had on His listeners.

If we are to follow Jesus and lead others to follow Him as well, wouldn’t it be wise to learn to emulate His question-asking posture? Answers, most certainly, continue to play an important role in our world. We need answers. But Jesus – the savior of the world – was full of questions. Consider some of the questions He asked: Which of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Why are you so afraid? What do you want me to do for you? Do you want to get well? But what about you? Who do you say that I am? What are you looking for? Do you love me?

There is hardly a page in the Gospels where Jesus wasn’t asking at least one question. The Gospels record that Jesus asked over 300 questions. It also records that He was asked over 180 questions – yet He only directly answered 5. Roughly 1% of the time Jesus answered a question directed toward him. And yet he was quick to ask hundreds of questions of others.

May we be the kinds of humble and wise leaders who ask questions – questions the way Jesus asked them – for when we do our lives will change, as will the lives of those we interact with.

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A New Kind of Charismatic

There are many things that are hard to predict about the future of the church in North America, but one thing is clear: the future church is more charismatic. 

I’m not sure how that statement strikes you, but consider the growth of the church around the world – most of it has a Spirit-filled underpinning. This growth, once primarily happening outside Western contexts, is now steadily increasing in places like the UK, Australia, and especially the United States.  At the same time, the non-charismatic parts of the church are shrinking, especially in the Western world. 

We all know that the mainline church (UMC, PCUSA, Episcopal) is by and large a generation away from the edge of extinction. But what is most striking in the data is that while the evangelical church is holding steady, the families of churches that hold to some practice of “the charismatic life” are growing. Even evangelical churches and communities that once would have been found lacking in their charismatic orientation now have clear, regular examples and bodies of teaching around the Spirit-filled life. Whether it is the Anglican Church, the Reformed Calvinist movement, Spirit-Oriented Mennonites, former United Methodists, or more multi-denominational groupings like Exponential, there is hardly any corner of the church that is not MORE charismatic than it was in previous generations.  

One has to step back and wonder, “Why might this be?” This is certainly not something that aligns well with the values of our broader culture as so many changes tend to be. Instead, we ought to think that perhaps this wave of the Spirit is something that God himself has initiated for this time. If God himself has initiated this, then we might ask ourselves, “How do all of us take steps into what God is doing?”  After all, you need not consider yourself charismatic to take a step forward into the life of the Spirit.  

You need not consider yourself charismatic to take a step forward into the life of the Spirit.

In my own journey, I have often described myself as a “British charismatic.”  Mainly, what I have intended to mean is that I have a “subdued” expression of life in the Spirit. I am still uncomfortable in contexts where the “full gifts of the Spirit” are displayed. Yet, I have found that learning to hear God, to give and receive prophetic words, and to discern the action of the Spirit in a setting, have been indispensable to my life and leadership. I’ve also been fortunate to be part of just a few “miraculous” circumstances. I always hope for more of those, but it doesn’t phase me when less of them happen. There are more than enough reasonable, theologically informed, reasons why we don’t see more miracles than we do.  

What resides in my heart for my fellow Ecclesia leaders is that you would not miss what God is doing in this moment, either because of any past or present experiences with those who are “Pentecostal or Charismatic” or that you would regard your own personality and way of being in life to be at odds with what we generally experience to be a more “expressive” version of the Christian faith. If we miss what God is doing in this season, I believe there are at least three profound things we will miss.

First, you could miss a more dynamic and faith-filled personal life of faith. Second, you may miss the longing expectation for the surprising work of God that accompanies the vast majority of where the church is growing in witness and maturity around the globe and ALSO in Western nations that have left a concern for authentic, orthodox Christian witness. Third, and perhaps most importantly because it serves as the foundation of the first two, you will miss out on living and leading with the authority and boldness that accompanies the call of a Christ-follower and is necessary as part of your profession in a time when the winds of society are most certainly blowing against you.

As I look across all my experiences with planting, pastoring, multiplying leaders, building networks, and working with various denominations across the continuum of the church in North America, one thing I know for sure is that the only wind that can withstand the winds of our current secular, increasingly antagonistic context to authentic Christianity on the one hand, and the current nationalistic, increasingly antagonistic context to authentic Christianity on other is the wind of the Spirit. We must have the confidence that God is with us, in the power of the Spirit, to have the courage to face these twin headwinds coming against all of us for the foreseeable future.  

So, how do we take a step into this moment? 

First, I would recommend to any leader three books that I believe create a pathway for anyone to incrementally grow in their life in the Spirit – Surprised by the Power of the Spirit and Surprised by the Voice of God, both by Jack Deere, and Hearing God by Dallas Willard. You might have read Hearing God in a previous season in life, but I would invite you to read it through the lens of the “charismatic life” and see how it hits you differently. 

Second, I would recommend that you simply ask God to continuously reveal the person and work of the Spirit that Jesus sent to accompany and empower you. There is more to be said for sure, but I don’t know of any circumstance where someone has genuinely asked God to reveal the Spirit to them and God has not in due course answered. The question for us is “Do we want more of the Spirit?”  It surely seems like it would be wise to say “yes.”

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What The Shuck?

Important Lessons From a Minor League Baseball Team

In 2015, the Biloxi Shuckers, the AA minor league baseball team of the Milwaukee Brewers, were forced to participate in an unprecedented experience.

A beautiful new baseball stadium was under construction in their Mississippi city, but construction crews weren’t able to complete the project until late spring. As a result, the team was forced to participate in a 54-game road trip to start their season. To add a little perspective, many professional baseball players complain when they are in the midst of a grueling eight or nine-game road trip.

For two months, the Shuckers traveled 2,800 miles through the south, hitting just about every town except Biloxi. They slept in countless hotel rooms, schlepping their luggage from hotel to bus to stadium and back to bus. Teammates gave each other makeshift haircuts in the clubhouse. The bus made nightly pit stops at out-of-the-way gas stations for a bathroom break at 3 a.m. (The life of a minor league baseball player might not be as glamorous as we imagined.)

What does a minor league baseball team with an unprecedented extended road trip have to teach us about the state of the Church in North America?

What does a minor league baseball team with an unprecedented extended road trip have to teach us about the state of the Church in North America? Many church leaders feel that we’re in a new era: we, too, no longer enjoy the benefits of a home-field advantage. In this cultural moment, we are always the away team, no longer privy to the comforts and luxuries enjoyed by previous generations of Christians.

The implication of this reality is that we have a decision to make regarding our posture. We can either deny we’re the away team or complain about our new reality. Or admitting that while things won’t be the same as before, we can be creative and think like Shuckers. In other words, we can engage in the “resident alien” posture that Peter wrote about in one of his letters.  

If we take this posture, it will require us to think like bilingual missionaries in our particular contexts – and to teach our people to do the same. We understand both the reality of the world and the invitation of the kingdom. Culture, of course, is what people do—the rhythms, values, patterns, symbols, taboos, priorities, and characteristics of the way a particular people group operates. Our missionary posture is to celebrate and affirm the good elements and speak into and call out the bad elements— and those bad elements always involve idols, which speak both to our hearts as individuals and to our cultural norms.

While we certainly are in a new era of Church like we’ve never experienced before in North America, we need space to grieve. But we also need to commit to a faith-filled, humble, courageous, and contextually intelligent posture of engagement. In some ways, we need to take on the posture of Daniel and his faithful friends who were living, leading, and serving in a foreign land.

The current reality is not a position or situation we would have chosen or preferred. But even still, there is an invitation to press into the purposes of God through creative mission, if we have the eyes to see it.

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Called to Stay or Called to Go?

There’s one question that everyone in ministry will be faced with at one point or another: the question of whether to stay or go. It’s one I asked myself at various times after planting a church (around year 7-  stay for another season, around year 14- let go and let others lead), it’s one I’ve coached numerous other pastors through, and it’s one that if you aren’t asking right now, you probably will be at some point in the future.

The first thing to realize about the question of staying or going is that it’s a normal and even in some ways a necessary question. Like many things in life, ministry (and our growth in it) tends to happen in cycles. Around 7 years into a position, again at 14 years, and again at around 21 years, most people begin to feel the desire for something different, something new, something more (or sometimes less) challenging. As I’ve coached a number of others for whom this question was beginning to surface, I have sometimes detected a certain amount of guilt around even asking the question, as if simply by contemplating moving on, they were somehow being unfaithful to the community in which they were currently serving. It always comes as a relief to hear that it’s a natural part of our growth in ministry, and more, that it’s something we ought to be asking.

I say “ought” to be asking, because I know that if we’re not watchful and mindful of our own growth areas, and the needs of the community we are leading, we can end up trying to lead in a community that has (praise God!) grown beyond our capacity as a leader. At that point, the first challenge is to see what’s happening, and then decide if we have the capacity to learn, grow, and change our own leadership to meet the needs of the church, or if it’s time for someone who’s better equipped to step in. In the words of Marshall Goldsmith: “What got you here won’t get you there.”

Now, knowing the question itself is a natural and even necessary question to ask, the second thing we need to be mindful of in asking it is that answers to that question will come from many, many directions, and we need to be careful about which ones we listen to.

For instance, a tough season in ministry is not an indication that it’s time to go. If that tough season has been caused by your own shortcomings as a leader, it might mean it’s time for someone more up to the challenge to step in, but it also might be an opportunity for exactly the kind of growth in leadership you need. If it’s just been a tough season in general, beware of stepping away from the formation of a tough season and into the honeymoon phase of a new situation. The problem with tough seasons is that they always come around again. We may get temporary relief from a fresh start, but soon enough, we’ll be back in the thick of things.

This isn’t to say that a fresh start, a new beginning after a tough season is a bad thing- it’s simply to say that as we are listening to our own hearts, and even more so, for the voice of the Spirit, we often have a tendency to infer from hard seasons that which is not being implied- namely that it’s time to move on. Sometimes, hard seasons mean exactly the opposite: that we’ve finally broken through the “niceties” of church life and are beginning to see real growth, the kind that comes with growing pains and even opposition.

Some other voices to take with a grain of salt when considering a choice between staying or going:

1. Your critics- not that there’s not something to be learned from our critics, but we don’t let them steer our lives.

2. Your ambition- Be careful of wanting, and especially of feeling entitled to “more.”

3. Your tiredness- Being tired or burned out isn’t necessarily a sign you need to move on. It’s a sign that you don’t yet know how to do ministry in a sustainable way. Better to learn that lesson now, where you are, than putting it off with a move and having to face it again in a couple of years.

4. Your opportunities- not every open door is an invitation from God.

So, whose voice should you be listening to? Obviously, God’s, but not in the vacuum of our own minds where discerning the difference between “God wants” and “I want” is often made more difficult in times of stress and tiredness, or even boredom and mundanity. We listen for God’s voice, and we ask others to help us listen. We ask our spouse to pray and listen, we open up to some (or all) on our elder team and staff as to how we’re feeling (as scary as that sounds), and we ask them to help us discern.

It was a scary thing to ask my team of elders to let me know when I had tipped from an asset to the church I planted over into being a liability. But the funny thing is when they finally did tell me that, I had already been there for 6 months, and it came as a confirmation from some folks that I knew loved me. Because I invited that kind of feedback, I could welcome it when it came.

If you are in a season of discernment, widen your circle. Engage with a coach or a spiritual director. Take advantage of our Ecclesia staff- we’ve all been where you are and more, have observed and learned from many others who have navigated that same season. Lean on the wisdom and learn from the mistakes of others. Don’t make these kinds of decisions in a vacuum. Give your leaders and even your community as a whole (when it’s appropriate) a good model of how a follower of Jesus makes big decisions, in community and in dependence on the Spirit.

One last thought. My personal practice is to attempt as much as possible to give God the glory but take the blame for myself. In other words, the last thing I want to do is drop a life-changing announcement on folks and tag it with “God is leading me to…”

This kind of “God told me to” tends to invalidate the feelings of others, cut off any questions and discussion, and generally make people feel like God is doing something to them.

In situations like this, even when I feel like I have the leading of God’s Spirit, I try to preemptively take most of the blame. I will let people know about the prayer and discussion that preceded it, and the various factors that went into the decision, but ultimately, unless and until I can point to real, tangible, fruit, I want to avoid saying pinning the blame for something that I know will be difficult for some or many to hear on God.

Later, when we’re able to look back and see all that God has done, we can begin describing the leading we felt, the promptings of the Spirit we listened to, and give God the glory He deserves.

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Fresh Eyes: Why You Need a Coach or Consultant

Recently I texted some friends a few “anti-inspirational” quotes about consulting, including my favorite: “If you are not a part of the solution, there’s good money to be made in prolonging the problem.” But this applies to much more than just consulting.

How many of us have started to do some remodeling and found out it would be harder, more expensive, and much slower than we thought? Or we take our car in for something that seems small only to find out that this “small issue” is connected to something much bigger and more expensive? 

So the question remains: why would we seriously consider voluntarily inviting a consultant or a coach into our church if there is a chance they will make things more complicated, not less? 

If you’re asking this, I get it. I was on staff and a pastor of our church for 25 years. What makes pastoring so difficult is not that we have complicated pastoral, personal, organizational, or theological issues to navigate; it’s that those issues are confronting us all at once.

So then, why would you ever invite more potential complexity or challenge by inviting a ministry coach for yourself or a consultant for your church? 

The first reason is that consultants, physicians, contractors, and mechanics, who have expertise and integrity, are not inventing the issues; instead, they are directing your attention toward the areas and issues you might not be able to see. You know those times when you’ve driven to work or the store and you don’t actually remember driving there? We weren’t in a trance or asleep; our brains were processing thousands of micro-decisions along the way, and we weren’t overtly aware of them. We can easily look past things that are important because we do not see them as immediate needs.  An experienced coach and well-trained consultant can help us notice what we have probably noticed at a certain level before, but they can bring it into our conscious awareness. And with that awareness, we can be in the best position to address those issues head-on.

The second reason: a good coach and consultant can give you a discerning partner in looking at the issues that you both notice. Even with 25 years of pastoral experience, I still needed an outside voice and perspective who could bring expertise that I did not have into our context. I needed someone to see things were fresh eyes because it was too “normal” for me to notice issues that could arise. I wanted them to bring their experience, training, a greater breadth of options or responses, and their awareness of structure. But they needed to appreciate that I and the other members of our church were the keepers of the story of God in our community. We knew the hurts and joys people had gone through, and those needed to be honored as well. 

A good coach or consultant will appreciate that dynamic and it becomes a conversation from these different inputs where we discern together. If you want a good, quick test of whether your coach or consultant is interested in this conversational approach, just see how many questions or conversations they have with you before they start sharing with you what you need to do.

One pattern I’ve noticed: the majority of leaders I coach spend about half of each coaching session talking about how they are navigating the challenges they are facing. Having a safe person to let our hair down with, and a safe place to vent and openly share challenges we are facing is essential for pastors and leaders to navigate pastoral ministry in a healthy way. With great frequency, the coaching sessions with leaders start in one direction – and then a question will come up or a thought will be shared and the conversation will go in a completely different direction entirely. Having someone with whom you can share the whole story of how life is going, without having to assure them afterward that you really do still love Jesus and have hope for His church (we all know that feeling don’t we?), is incredibly important. 

There are many more reasons, for sure: navigating the morass of ideas and strategies that are out there, helping you figure out the order of issues to be confronted, assessing whether what you are doing is working, developing the steps to take/having someone that will ask about your progress through them, or just talking to someone that has navigated what you are confronting multiple times in multiple contexts. These are all important benefits provided by a coach or consultant.

A good coach or consultant should have experience in what you are trying to do, needs to have a strong faith life themselves, and needs to be willing to listen as much as speak. 

Ironically, when those elements are present, it doesn’t feel like coaching or consulting; instead, it feels like ministry. And that is what I love about it. 

Jim Pace

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6 Ways to Frustrate Young Leaders

by J.R. Briggs

I was a few years into planting our church when I shared boldly and with strong conviction about an issue on my heart at an elder meeting. After I finished, I could tell that one elder wasn’t too happy; he asked to stick around after our meeting concluded.

“How old are you?” he asked, clearly with an agenda in mind. 

“I’m 29.” I winced, bracing myself for what he might say next.  

He squinted his eyes, wagged his finger, and said, “I’ve been doing ministry longer than you’re alive. So, listen to me for a minute…” I was taken aback and felt so belittled by the comment that I don’t remember what he said (but I can assure you how he shared lasted more than a minute).

On the drive home that night, I felt embarrassed and frustrated by the experience; I vowed never to ask the condescending question of a younger leader, “How old are you?” – and follow it up with a condescending lecture. 

. . .

I have a driving passion to listen to, encourage, and invest in young and emerging leaders. And I especially want to ensure that no young leader feels as frustrated and lonely as I felt in numerous situations. As I’ve worked in leadership development over the years, I often ask emerging leaders what are the things that frustrate them in their leadership contexts, either in what they are experiencing or where they want to experience something, but aren’t allowed to do so.  

If we want to frustrate young leaders, here are the ways I’ve learned to do it successfully:  

[1] Delegate responsibilities, but refrain from empowering them to lead.  

Many leaders erroneously believe that leadership development is the art of delegating tasks. But delegating is not the same thing as empowering. Delegation is about giving others tasks; empowering others is about giving people authority and permission.

Delegation says, “Get this done exactly the way I want it done.” But empowerment gives others authority and permission that says, “Here is the vision and the mission of what we’re about. You are capable and responsible. I believe in you. Take this and lead in such a way that best advances the vision and moves the mission forward.” This means others will most likely do it differently than you do. But remember: we are not trying to create clones, we are trying to develop and empower leaders.

Years ago I led the college and young adult ministry at a large church in Colorado. I remember sitting in a pastoral staff meeting when the executive pastor said to me, “We want to communicate to the young people in your ministry that they are the future of this church.” I told him that while he meant well, that mindset was a problem. He was confused.

“They are not the future of the church.” I said, “They are the present. And if we want to serve them well, then we need to start thinking this way. They’ll grow and develop more if we do.” When we over-emphasize the tasks needed to get done, we can easily under-emphasize whole-person equipping for formation. The ultimate, long-term goal is not to just get things done; it’s to empower and unleash people into their giftings.

[2] Assume that you know everything that young leaders need to know.

Certainly, there are some skills that need to be developed, perspectives that need to be gained, and character that needs to be formed in others in order for them to be healthy and effective leaders, regardless of their age. But many seasoned leaders take the mistake of assuming too much and trying to read younger leaders’ minds.

Some common faulty assumptions made are: 

  • I am going to teach this young leader everything they need to learn about leadership.
  • Growth and formation are only one direction.
  • Emerging leaders are too young and inexperienced to handle “real” ministry responsibilities.
  • Each generation does leadership development the same way.
  • Growth and development can only happen in official and formal settings.
  • Telling is the same thing as training.

One of the greatest ways experienced leaders can keep from making faulty assumptions (and we know what happens when we assume) is to stop trying to read leaders’ minds and simply ask questions. Two of my favorite questions to keep us from stepping into the assumption trap is to ask: Where do you want to be more involved? And where do you want me to get out of your way? If emerging leaders are willing to give honest answers to these questions, it’s amazing what can be learned and discerned in these conversations.

[3] Offer complete freedom and autonomy without guidance and accountability.

Trust is essential for young leaders to grow and develop, but too much freedom without guidance can be demoralizing and disorienting. Simply sending leaders off to “figure it out on their own” is not a purposeful strategy for development.

I know one leader who described his leadership development process as “I throw them into the deep end of the pool and they’ll eventually figure out how to swim.” I asked him what happens to those who don’t figure out how to swim. “Well,” he said, “they don’t make it.” That doesn’t sound like a thoughtful strategy; that sounds like a good plan to help young leaders fail. Young leaders need freedom and autonomy, but they still need – and often long for – loving and constructive direction, structure, feedback, and guidance.

[4] Micromanage others.

While most emerging leaders I’ve spent time with have expressed that while they want direction, feedback, and structure, they certainly don’t want to be micromanaged either. (In fact, name any leader who actually likes to be micromanaged.) Leaders often micromanage others because of fear, lack of trust, or their own control issues. They often worry that the job won’t get done (at least not the way they want it).

Few things aggravate, demoralize, and crush morale more than when leaders control the environment so much that others can’t do anything without the leader’s permission or approval. Not only are they failing to develop leaders, they are actually diminishing the opportunity for leaders to grow in the future.

[5] Lead only in the style you’re used to leading in.

There are some time-tested truths and principles in leadership development. But there are also generational shifts that experienced leaders need to be aware of – and more importantly, make efforts to adapt to.

The old approach of leadership was to be the sage on the stage; the new approach is to be a guide on the side. The old approach believed we need a strong leader; don’t show us your failures, mistakes, and wounds. But the new approach says we need an authentic leader we can trust; show us your failures, mistakes, and wounds so we can learn from you.

Just as listening to music has shifted from 8-tracks to cassette tapes (all things younger leaders have little to no experience with!) to CDs to streaming services, we need to change the format of how we listen to the music of leadership development in changing times. Leaders must learn to adapt and change to meet emerging leaders where they are. This requires letting go of some control and being willing to be humble to listen to the way emerging leaders think, act, and feel.

[6] Expect perfection.

Few things cause anxiety to rise in the life of an emerging leader more than creating a culture and expectation that failure is unacceptable. Learning from failure is one of the greatest learning tools in the life of a leader, young or old. Failure is a terrible thing to waste. Bridgewater hedge fund manager and investor Ray Dalio articulated this well when he said, “Create a culture where it is acceptable to fail, but unacceptable not to learn from it.”

Certainly, we don’t want to over-protect young leaders from experiencing failure – that’s where the true learning comes when we reflect on failure appropriately – but we also don’t want to create an unsafe environment when they do fail. If failing in a learning environment is not safe, young leaders will be tempted to hide their mistakes, experience shame, and refuse to reflect and process valuable lessons to be learned through these experiences.  As poet Archibald MacLeish wrote, “There is only one thing more painful than learning from experience, and that is not learning from experience.”

Much of what we are called to do in developing younger leaders is to live in the midst of the healthy tension: to give freedom, but not too much of it; to delegate tasks, without neglecting whole-person development by empowering and equipping; and not protecting them from failure, but cultivating an environment where they can learn valuable lessons when they fail. We need wisdom, humility, sensitivity, courage, and compassion to effectively engage in leadership development.

Let’s refrain from frustrating young, emerging leaders and instead empower them to lead. As Liz Wiseman said, the essential role of a leader is not to create followers; it’s to be a leader multiplier.

Want a practical way to encourage your Young Leaders? Check out the Emerging Leaders Cohort!