Equipper Blog

“God can work by what means he will; by a scandalous, domineering, self-seeking preacher; but it is not his ordinary way. Foxes and wolves are not nature’s instruments to generate sheep. I never knew much good done to souls by any pastors, but such as preached and lived in the power of love, working by clear convincing light, and both managed by a holy, lively seriousness. You must bring fire, if you would kindle fire… Speak as loud as you will, and make as great a stir as you will, it will be all in vain to win men’s love to God and goodness, till their hearts be touched with his love and amiableness, which usually must be done by the instrumentality of the preacher’s love… If love be the sum and fulfilling of the law, love must be the sum and fulfilling of our ministry.”- Richard Baxter, The Practical Works of Richard Baxter

What is it you actually do as a pastor or ministry leader? Is it your job to teach others and preach sermons? To administrate various programs or ministries? To lead the elders or deacons? If you view yourself as a teacher first and foremost you will certainly teach those in your church. If you view yourself as a CEO, you will certainly manage the affairs of the church. But will you necessarily love those in the church?

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You’ve probably seen the Learning Pyramid before. Since learning about the pyramid a few years ago, it has been a tremendous tool in my preparation and presentation when preaching a sermon, teaching a class or equipping ministry leaders in a training event. Sadly, for the first several years I focused too much on how I was teaching and not enough on how people learn. Even more, I noticed how often I focused almost entirely on just talking at people. No wonder people couldn’t remember or put into practice what I was teaching!

Of course, as the National Training Laboratories has found in their research, the more we push down into the pyramid, the more people retain what they’ve learned. In my teaching preparation I often pull out the pyramid and think, “How far down the pyramid can I push this teaching?” I don’t get down to the bottom every single time, but I absolutely make sure I don’t remain only in the 5%/Lecture category. (Sometimes, in my more courageous and creative moments, I’ve wondered if we turned the pyramid completely upside down how people’s learning process and retention would be impacted).

As you think about your preaching and teaching, consider the following questions in each level of the pyramid:

Lecture: what are one or two ways I could increase the effectiveness and engagement of what I am communicating to people?

Reading: how am I encouraging people to read in the midst of the teaching (the biblical text, a quote on the screen, a handout, etc)? What are ways I could include reading materials, either during my teaching or as a take home resource?

Audio Visual: are there natural and creative ways I can use videos or songs to illustrate this point?

Demonstration: instead of simply teaching on this abstract concept, can I demonstrate it right on the spot? Can I call a volunteer up and simulate a role-playing exercise? Or can I give a specific and concrete example of someone who has recently lived out this concept in our community?

Discussion group: rather than listening to me communicate, can we carve our time and space for people to interact with each other? If so, what will they discuss? What questions or texts can I give them as prompts to their discussion? And what will they do with that information?

Practice by doing: Are there ways in which people can live out and practice what they just learned from me in the next 5 minutes? In the next 30 minutes? By the end of the day? What challenge(s) can I give them to attempt this?

Teaching others: Is there opportunity for someone courageous enough to come up and teach (or summarize) what they’ve learned in the process? If they’ve not done it effectively, how can we celebrate their willingness, while also offering suggestion or correction? If people have done it effectively, how can we affirm and celebrate both their willingness and ability to do something difficult in the moment?

One of the primary differences between those who make it for the long haul in leading and ministering to others and those who don’t is the level of self-differentiation they are able to achieve. Self-differentiation is the ability to separate one’s intellectual or emotional functioning from that of family or other groups. In other words, it is the ability to know who you are without reference to who others believe you to be. This happens when your identity is rooted in something other than the transitory—your job or title, the esteem with which others hold you or the way you feel about your current performance. For the Christian leader, self-differentiation depends on our view of ourselves as the beloved of God, children of a God who cares for us because of who we are and accepts us because of what Christ has done.

Leading in a church setting is especially challenging for our self-differentiation. We’re often expected to respond not just to the needs but also to the wants and preferences of a very diverse community at all stages of spiritual development. We’re looked up to by some and looked down on by others; we’re seen as the solution by some and the problem by others. In all of this, we’re dealing with our own spiritual development and with our identity as leaders and members of the very communities we’re also trying to lead. Trying to be “all things to all people” is a sound missiological principle, but doing so without first having a grounded core identity—dependent not on what people think of us but on what God thinks of us—will quickly have us running in twelve different directions at once and losing our mission orientation. “Doing God’s will means at times resisting the loving appeal of nervous friends who offer us another, safer agenda”—or resisting the nervous preferences of our community or fellow leaders.

One of the things that has been most valuable to me in my quest to be the leader God means me to be is: Knowing the difference between to and for.

Elders face a constant temptation to feel responsible for their community, their spiritual well-being, their marriages and their continued presence and involvement with their community. The problem is that as a community grows, as more and more marriages struggle (and perhaps fail) and as some decide to walk away from your church (and even the faith), that weight on your shoulders increases exponentially. Feeling responsible for others when we have no control over their behavior quickly leads to leaders who either try to control the behavior through whatever means necessary or who burn out under the load.

The good news is that you are not responsible for anyone in your community. As a pastor, you have responsibilities to them. You have the responsibility to love them, to teach them, to carefully and lovingly correct and exhort and encourage them, but you are not responsible for what they choose to do with that. Your responsibility includes doing all you can to point them to Jesus, but it puts the results firmly in their choices and the work of the Holy Spirit.

The same holds true with the overall community. We tend to take responsibility both when things are going well and when they aren’t, when we’re growing and when things feel stagnant and dead. In both, we overestimate both our influence and our responsibility. As leaders, we don’t make the church grow—God does. Our responsibility is to discharge our duties faithfully as elders and then leave the results up to God. We are responsible to our communities to be the best leaders we can be, to offer the best we can in terms of spurring others on toward love and good deeds and sounding a clear call to be the church Jesus had in mind. Ultimately, God is responsible for his church and its members, not us. The outcomes of our efforts rest in his hands, not on our shoulders.

(This is an adapted excerpt from Eldership and the Mission of God: Equipping Teams for Faithful Church Leadership– Check it out here)

It’s never fun when people inform you that they’ve chosen to leave your church. It’s a hard reality to ponder that more people have left our church over the past 8 years than have stayed. Certainly, there are positive reasons people choose not to be a part of the church any more (a job transfer or a move out of state) and there are painful reasons (e.g. conflict in the church, not meshing with the philosophy of ministry, another church is more appealing to them or – pastors’ favorite one, “we’re just not being fed” — whatever that means).

Depending upon our personality types we may simply want to avoid a face-to-face conversation and “wish them well” from afar. Others feel the need to take a confrontational and maybe defensive posture that comes from being hurt, abandoned or betrayed.

Over the past few years our elders have tried to have a posture of a learner in these formats. Though we’ve done this imperfectly, we’ve purposefully tried to possess a “help us understand” posture of humble listening. Most often, we try to meet with them one-on-one (and, when not possible, over the phone or via email) in an “exit interview” type fashion in order to ask a few questions. To be clear, these meetings are never fun, always emotionally draining and give us clammy hands walking into them. We may not like they are leaving, but we believe we can learn things from them – and hopefully be able to thank them and to bless them as they go.

Here are four questions we ask in these “exit interview” type settings-Read More