One of the greatest privileges in ministry is seeing people step into their God-given potential. Scripture reminds us that leaders are not merely born but formed; in community, through discipleship, and by the intentional investment of others. For pastors and ministry leaders, a crucial tool in this formation process is what some call an “ICNU conversation.”

An ICNU conversation is simply when we pull someone aside and say, “Here’s what I see in you.” It’s a way of calling out gifts, character, and leadership potential in another person, often before they see it in themselves. These conversations can be small in length but enormous in impact, creating pivotal moments that alter a person’s trajectory in ministry and life.

Why ICNU Conversations Matter

1. They Help People See Beyond Themselves

Most people underestimate their capacity for leadership. They assume ministry leadership is reserved for those with theological training, exceptional charisma, or years of experience. When a trusted leader notices and names something in them, it can awaken possibilities they never considered. An ICNU conversation gives people permission to dream bigger and to see themselves as God does.

2. They Anchor Potential in Affirmation, Not Pressure

Unlike a recruitment pitch, ICNU conversations don’t begin with tasks, responsibilities, or needs. They begin with affirmation. Instead of saying, “We need someone to lead this group,” we start with, “I see in you the ability to shepherd people well.” This subtle shift communicates that leadership is not about filling a gap but about stewarding God’s gifts.

3. They Cultivate a Culture of Multiplication

Healthy ministry isn’t about a few doing everything—it’s about equipping many. When ICNU conversations become a rhythm in a church, they create a multiplication culture. People start looking for potential in others and speaking it out, leading to a ripple effect of encouragement and empowerment.

4. They Spark Growth and Ownership

Being told “I see this in you” often catalyzes growth. Even if someone doesn’t feel ready, the seed has been planted. They may begin seeking opportunities to grow, watching leaders differently, or stepping into small acts of responsibility. In time, these small steps can develop into a sense of ownership for the mission of the church.

Biblical Foundations for ICNU Conversations

The practice of ICNU conversations resonates deeply with biblical patterns of leadership development.

• Jesus and His Disciples: Jesus repeatedly named potential in His disciples long before they lived into it. He told Simon, “You are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church.” He called fishermen “fishers of men” and entrusted the gospel to ordinary people.
• Paul and Timothy: Paul reminds Timothy to “fan into flame the gift of God” that was already within him. Paul saw leadership capacity in Timothy and nurtured it through personal investment and encouragement.
• Barnabas and Saul: Barnabas, whose name means “son of encouragement,” was one of the earliest to affirm Saul after his conversion, bringing him to the apostles and later advocating for his ministry.

Throughout Scripture, leaders are often those who were first seen and called out by others.

Best Practices for ICNU Conversations

Having established why ICNU conversations matter, the question becomes: How do we do them well? While every leader will bring their own personality and style, a few best practices can maximize their effectiveness.

1. Be Specific, Not Generic

General encouragement is nice but easily forgotten. Instead of saying, “You’d make a great leader someday,” say, “When you led that prayer last week, I noticed how people leaned in—you have a gift for helping others connect with God.” Specific observations give weight to your words and help people believe them.

2. Connect Identity to Calling

Frame your ICNU conversation around who the person is, not just what they do. Leadership development is not about filling slots but about aligning someone’s identity in Christ with opportunities to serve. For example: “I see in you a shepherd’s heart—you notice when people are hurting and make space for them. That’s what makes a great small group leader.”

3. Choose the Right Context

These conversations don’t need a formal setting, but they do need intentionality. A hallway comment is good, but taking someone out for coffee communicates greater investment. The context should say, “This matters, and so do you.”

4. Plant Seeds, Don’t Force Decisions

An ICNU conversation is about invitation, not pressure. You are naming what you see, not handing out assignments on the spot. Give the person room to process and pray. Sometimes people respond quickly, while other times they need months or years before stepping in. Trust God’s timing.

5. Paint a clear picture of the path, and Follow Up with Opportunity & Support

Words alone aren’t enough—there needs to be a pathway for growth. Be specific in what that pathway could look like. "I see you possibly being on track to be an elder in a few years. In the meantime, I'd love to see you leading a home community." Be bold in naming any growth areas you might see. Show them the path, and stay available for encouragement, coaching, and feedback along the way.

6. Model a Culture of Encouragement

When leaders consistently practice ICNU conversations, it shapes the wider culture. People begin noticing strengths in others and feel empowered to speak them out. Over time, encouragement becomes contagious, and leadership development moves from a program to a lifestyle.

Conclusion

ICNU conversations are deceptively simple yet profoundly powerful. By intentionally naming the potential we see in others, we open doors for people to step into ministry leadership they might never have imagined. In doing so, we reflect the way Jesus called His disciples and the way Paul nurtured young leaders like Timothy.

If we want to see the church grow—not just in numbers but in depth, capacity, and resilience—we must make ICNU conversations a regular rhythm of ministry life. And if we practice them with specificity, intentionality, patience, and follow-up, we will cultivate leaders who are not only equipped for tasks but deeply anchored in identity and calling.

The next ministry leader in your church may just be waiting for someone to look them in the eye and say: “Here’s what I see in you.”

(This article was written with the help of AI)