10 Practical Ways to Cultivate Trust With Your Leadership Team
Ecclesia Network
June 10, 2019

The fundamental role of a leader is to build trust, bear pain and give hope.

Ultimately, all leadership flows from these three streams.

This week I was reminded once again of the crucial and irreplaceable stream of trust. It is the least common denominator in all leadership contexts, the fuel by which the leadership car moves. It is impossible to lead effectively over the long haul absent of trust. In Patrick Lencioni’s helpful book The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, he lists the major destructive factors among team dynamics: fear of conflict, lack of commitment, avoidance of accountability and inattention to results . But the keystone trait that undergirds all the others is the absence of trust . As one of my doctoral professors recently said, “The absence of trust is ultimately the absence of grace.” Conversely speaking then, building and deepening trust is the single greatest thing leaders must cultivate within and among their team in order to be healthy, fruitful and effective.

Albert Winseman, in his book Growing An Engaged Church , wrote that every person who walks into your church is asking two questions: Am I valued? and Do I have something to contribute? These questions get to the heart of the matter. Yet, I would offer that these are not just questions asked by churchgoers; they are also asked by any person who serves on any team in any capacity.

I don’t think anyone would argue with what I’ve offered thus far. Every well-meaning leader I’ve met believes trust is important. And every leader I’ve talked to wants people to feel valued and to allow space for collaboration, participation and contribution with their team. However, you may be thinking: Yes but how? Practically speaking, how am I to go about deepening trust with my team?

With Lencioni’s book in one hand and Winseman’s book in the other, it’s important for leaders to drill down further and consider how we can cultivate health in specific and practical ways, first by self-assessment. I offer the following ten elements – and questions – for self-evaluation.  

  • Value and love: how do I treat the people on my team (i.e. my words, posture, presence, tone, affirmation, etc.)? Is it a judgement-free zone? Which is more important to me: healthy relationships or accomplishing more? Are our team meetings and interactions safe spaces for people to really share what they are thinking and feeling?
  • Participation: how much do I actually empower and include our team on decisions being made? Am I collaborating or simply informing them of decisions already made?  
  • Congruence: how much do my words match my actions? Where might I be out of alignment? How would I even know?
  • Consistency: is there evidence of results in my leadership over an extended period of time? Do people have confidence in my ability to lead?
  • Self-differentiation: How much of my identity is wrapped up in me being the leader? Being a “successful” leader? Ultimately, which direction are the arrows pointing: toward me, toward our team or toward our mission?
  • Vulnerability: how vulnerable have I been (and how vulnerable am I willing to be) in order to model what a safe space looks like on the team? When others are vulnerable how have I responded? Am I capable of readily admitting “I don’t know” and verbalizing phrases such as “I’m sorry”?
  • Failure: How do I respond to risks and failures, individually and as a team? How much does it define who I am as a leader or who we are as a team?
  • Truth-telling: How am I at telling the truth – and embracing it – even if it stings? Am I actually telling the whole truth or am I telling the truth, plus or minus ten percent?
  • Unity: how much are we pursuing unity (not uniformity) as a team? Am I willing to let go of my personal preference(s) if it means we will be better off as a team in the long run? Do dissenting voices have a valued role among our team or are they hushed, ignored or swept aside?
  • Clarity: How clear and compelling is our vision, priorities, what we care about? How do we know if we are being clear in our communication?

In closing, I submit these additional questions worthy of reflection for leaders when it comes to deepening trust among our teams:

  • Why should people follow me? What gives me the right to lead others?
  • Because I have power, who, in turn, is flourishing?

It takes courage to ask these questions of ourselves about our own leadership; and it requires even more courage to ask others these questions about our leadership. But because trust is so crucial to the process, we can’t afford not to ask them. Ironically, we may find that if we ask these questions of ourselves and others with a humble, inquisitive and courageous tone and posture on a consistent basis, trust among our team will deepen.  

November 26, 2024
“Food is just fuel for your body.” When the raw vegan enthusiast in my community said it I knew that wasn’t right. I thought of all the great meals shared with family and friends around tables for Thanksgivings, Christmas Eves, and Easter afternoons – among others. I recalled the verse: “Taste and see that the Lord is good.” And I realized that if this was God’s vision for food, then he would have designed our bodies with built-in IV ports where we would hook up pouches of food to our sides and let it drip in slowly to our bloodstreams. And Jesus wouldn’t have given us the greatest experiential metaphor of communion around the table in fellowship with others if it was merely physical and transactional in nature. I get his point: what we put into our bodies matters. Food is for much more than just physical energy. It’s also about connection, bonding, and relationship. Storytelling and laughing and crying and interacting. Like former U.S. President Ronald Reagan said, all great change in America begins at the dinner table. But I’ll offer a rejoinder: all great change – no matter the country – begins at the dinner table. The U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, has declared loneliness as a public health crisis and an epidemic . 30 percent of adults say they feel lonely., with 10 percent reporting loneliness every day. 60 years ago the average dinner time was 90 minutes; today it’s less than 12. We are more connected to our devices and less connected to others. Almost twenty five years ago political scientist Robert Putnam wrote the popular book Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community . Over the summer, the New York Times interviewed him , inquiring if he saw this crisis of loneliness coming. He stressed the idea of “social capital,” saying it comes in two forms: bonding and bridging. Bonding ties us to others like us and bridging ties us to people who are different from us. Meals together with others at tables have the transformative power to do both. They bond us to other people in our church; they bridge us to connect with others who aren’t yet connected to faith. As my next-door neighbor says when we’re trying to find a time to connect for a meal, “Everybody’s gotta eat.” Coffee tables, lunch tables, high top bar tables, card tables, dinner tables – all have the intent to bring us together with others over food and/or drink. It was Len Sweet who wrote in Tablet to Table that Jesus was killed for his table manner and his table company. Later he stated that the gospel message was Jesus eating good food with bad people. In fact, you’d be hard pressed to find any gathering in the New Testament that didn’t involve some sort of table. And as Ian Simkins, lead pastor of teaching at The Bridge Church in Nashville, shared with me, the table is the centerpiece by which the gospel is expressed. The church has moved to prioritize the table by asking some key questions: What if we reclaimed the table? What if our tables weren’t for just feeding, but for forming? What if, at the table, foes became friends? What if, every time we sat down, we prayed, “at this table as it is in heaven”? What if we brought the gospel back to the table? These are the questions that must become front and center for the church in North America in the days ahead. In fact, you can view the church’s creative and compelling videos on Instagram here and here . Americans eat, on average, 21 meals a week. Think for a moment: how many meals did you share with others this week? How many meals did you eat alone this week? How many people did you share with those who weren’t your immediate family members? How many of those were with people who are not followers of Jesus? What if the greatest advancement of the gospel in the days ahead occurred not in our churches, but around tables?
By by J.R. Briggs September 25, 2024
I’ve been attending the ENG since 2008. It’s been convened in Maryland, Delaware, Florida, and Virginia – and even online during the pandemic. Pastors have asked me why I make ENG a priority and what I find so valuable. Here are 6 reasons why I never want to miss: [1] It’s Different from Other Church Leaders’ Events There are many great pastors’ events, but what initially drew me to the ENG was the feel of it. What I found so refreshing and valuable was the fact that it felt more like a family reunion than a conference or event. It’s not performative. Nobody is trying to impress one another or sell their next book coming out. Nobody is trying to measure their worth based on the size of their church or the reach of their ministry. There are no green rooms or fog machines. Nobody is treated as a celebrity. And most refreshingly, never once in all the years have I been asked, “So, how big is your church?” It’s a place where I can always be myself. [2] It’s Just the Right Size Many gatherings and conferences are large. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course. Years ago I attended these large conferences put on by very well-known churches – and I gleaned some important insights and nuggets of wisdom, for which I am grateful. But in a post-pandemic digital age, most of those conferences offer a digital package where I can watch conveniently in my office or home when I want to. I’ve gleaned a lot from our ENG speakers, where I’ve taken copious notes. Most years, what I’ve gleaned most was off of the stage and during the informal spaces of connection and interaction. The Ecclesia National Gathering is large enough to pull together pastors and their teams for meaningful content, yet small enough to cultivate deep connections naturally among other attendees. [3] Reconnecting with Old Friends and Meeting New Ones Since I’ve been attending for so many years, and other pastors have as well, it becomes a great space to reconnect with friends. Hugs and high-fives and asking about each other’s families is common throughout the time. There are lengthy times at night over drinks, talking about how we’re doing, what we’re learning, and where we’re seeing God at work in our contexts. It’s a place where I feel extremely comfortable to share the joys and also the heartaches with other pastors, leaders, and friends. But this isn’t just for the insiders. I love seeing new pastors and leaders attending and introducing them to others. Through the years, many newcomers have told me how surprised they’ve been at how welcoming the event has felt, where they could easily and naturally jump in and connect with others without feeling the need to sound impressive – where they could just be themselves. [4] Engaging in Unique Conversations Pastor Mark Batterson has said, “Change of pace plus change of place equals change of perspective.” Large conferences can be beneficial and online events have added value to my life, leadership, and ministry. But nothing can replace the lingering conversations with a mixture of folks, oftentimes over a drink at night, where we end up discussing and exploring topics that are life-giving, enlightening, and informative. Many of these have changed my perspective, reminded me of what’s most important, and sparked new ideas and creative initiatives we’ve launched. But most significantly, during these spaces I am reminded of what’s most important – stories of life change, the power of the gospel, and the depth of meaningful relationships in ministry. And I realize that as great as email, social media, and even Zoom can be to connect me digitally with people across the miles, nothing can replace this life-giving interaction at these events. [5] The Schedule Is Balanced and “Breathable” Many conferences I have attended in the past pack the schedule from morning until night with great content and programming. But I have often left those events with my body and soul feeling exhausted and my brain like a bowl of oatmeal. What I appreciate about ENG is that the programming and schedule has “breathing room.” There’s not wasted time, but it operates at a pace and capacity that is doable for busy and tired pastors and leaders. [6] There are Surprises from the Spirit Every Time As great as the programming is – both the plenary sessions and breakouts – there are still things that are unplanned – and oftentimes they are the most meaningful. Because the schedule isn’t packed from early in the morning to late at night, the Spirit always moves. Because it’s breathable the Spirit often blows. Sometimes the Spirit shows up by way of a soft and gentle reminder from a speaker. Other times, it is a clear word from the Lord during worship. And still other times it is in the form of a much-needed word of encouragement from a friend during conversation who was prompted to share something with me or pray something over me. The ENG isn’t just another pastors’ event – it’s where leaders connect, learn, and have space to be refreshed and be themselves in an authentic and meaningful space. If you haven’t attended yet, come and experience it for yourself.
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