Called to Stay or Called to Go?
Bob Hyatt
July 31, 2023

There’s one question that everyone in ministry will be faced with at one point or another: the question of whether to stay or go. It’s one I asked myself at various times after planting a church (around year 7-  stay for another season, around year 14- let go and let others lead), it’s one I’ve coached numerous other pastors through, and it’s one that if you aren’t asking right now, you probably will be at some point in the future.

The first thing to realize about the question of staying or going is that it’s a normal and even in some ways a necessary question. Like many things in life, ministry (and our growth in it) tends to happen in cycles. Around 7 years into a position, again at 14 years, and again at around 21 years, most people begin to feel the desire for something different, something new, something more (or sometimes less ) challenging. As I’ve coached a number of others for whom this question was beginning to surface, I have sometimes detected a certain amount of guilt around even asking the question, as if simply by contemplating moving on, they were somehow being unfaithful to the community in which they were currently serving. It always comes as a relief to hear that it’s a natural part of our growth in ministry, and more, that it’s something we ought to be asking.

I say “ought” to be asking, because I know that if we’re not watchful and mindful of our own growth areas, and the needs of the community we are leading, we can end up trying to lead in a community that has (praise God!) grown beyond our capacity as a leader. At that point, the first challenge is to see what’s happening, and then decide if we have the capacity to learn, grow, and change our own leadership to meet the needs of the church, or if it’s time for someone who’s better equipped to step in. In the words of Marshall Goldsmith: “What got you here won’t get you there.”

Now, knowing the question itself is a natural and even necessary question to ask, the second thing we need to be mindful of in asking it is that answers to that question will come from many, many directions, and we need to be careful about which ones we listen to.

For instance, a tough season in ministry is not an indication that it’s time to go. If that tough season has been caused by your own shortcomings as a leader, it might mean it’s time for someone more up to the challenge to step in, but it also might be an opportunity for exactly the kind of growth in leadership you need. If it’s just been a tough season in general, beware of stepping away from the formation of a tough season and into the honeymoon phase of a new situation. The problem with tough seasons is that they always come around again. We may get temporary relief from a fresh start, but soon enough, we’ll be back in the thick of things.

This isn’t to say that a fresh start, a new beginning after a tough season is a bad thing- it’s simply to say that as we are listening to our own hearts, and even more so, for the voice of the Spirit, we often have a tendency to infer from hard seasons that which is not being implied- namely that it’s time to move on. Sometimes, hard seasons mean exactly the opposite: that we’ve finally broken through the “niceties” of church life and are beginning to see real growth, the kind that comes with growing pains and even opposition.

Some other voices to take with a grain of salt when considering a choice between staying or going:

1. Your critics- not that there’s not something to be learned from our critics, but we don’t let them steer our lives.

2. Your ambition- Be careful of wanting, and especially of feeling entitled to “more.”

3. Your tiredness- Being tired or burned out isn’t necessarily a sign you need to move on. It’s a sign that you don’t yet know how to do ministry in a sustainable way. Better to learn that lesson now, where you are, than putting it off with a move and having to face it again in a couple of years.

4. Your opportunities- not every open door is an invitation from God.

So, whose voice should you be listening to? Obviously, God’s, but not in the vacuum of our own minds where discerning the difference between “God wants” and “I want” is often made more difficult in times of stress and tiredness, or even boredom and mundanity. We listen for God’s voice, and we ask others to help us listen. We ask our spouse to pray and listen, we open up to some (or all) on our elder team and staff as to how we’re feeling (as scary as that sounds), and we ask them to help us discern.

It was a scary thing to ask my team of elders to let me know when I had tipped from an asset to the church I planted over into being a liability. But the funny thing is when they finally did tell me that, I had already been there for 6 months, and it came as a confirmation from some folks that I knew loved me. Because I invited that kind of feedback, I could welcome it when it came.

If you are in a season of discernment, widen your circle. Engage with a coach or a spiritual director. Take advantage of our Ecclesia staff- we’ve all been where you are and more, have observed and learned from many others who have navigated that same season. Lean on the wisdom and learn from the mistakes of others. Don’t make these kinds of decisions in a vacuum. Give your leaders and even your community as a whole (when it’s appropriate) a good model of how a follower of Jesus makes big decisions, in community and in dependence on the Spirit.

One last thought. My personal practice is to attempt as much as possible to give God the glory but take the blame for myself. In other words, the last thing I want to do is drop a life-changing announcement on folks and tag it with “God is leading me to…”

This kind of “God told me to” tends to invalidate the feelings of others, cut off any questions and discussion, and generally make people feel like God is doing something to them.

In situations like this, even when I feel like I have the leading of God’s Spirit, I try to preemptively take most of the blame. I will let people know about the prayer and discussion that preceded it, and the various factors that went into the decision, but ultimately, unless and until I can point to real, tangible, fruit, I want to avoid saying pinning the blame for something that I know will be difficult for some or many to hear on God.

Later, when we’re able to look back and see all that God has done, we can begin describing the leading we felt, the promptings of the Spirit we listened to, and give God the glory He deserves.

By Bob Hyatt • October 7, 2026
“When God works in us nothing is useless, and nothing is spared.” - Jeannine Brown, Carla Dahl and Wendy Corbin Reuschling, Becoming Whole and Holy “There is no circumstance, no trouble, no testing, that can ever touch me until, first of all, it has gone past God and past Christ, right through to me. If it has come that far, it has come with great purpose, which I may not understand at the moment.” - Alan Redpath Here's something I've noticed about people as they get older: they tend to go one of two ways. They either get sweeter with age or they get crankier. They grow wiser and more like Jesus, or they grow bitter and more like the worst version of themselves. That's because life is formation. Everything we do and everything we go through shapes us one way or the other, mostly depending on how we respond to what happens to us, whether it's extraordinary or completely ordinary. Ministry works the same way. I've watched leaders come out of nearly identical trials in completely different shape. Some come out stronger. Others come out deeply wounded, discouraged, and ready to quit. The difference usually comes down to where they see God in the middle of the struggle, absent or present, and what questions they ask about it. Some ask, "God, why is this happening to me?" Others ask, "God, what could you want to form in me through this?" Both views of God will shape us, and so will both questions. They just shape us in very different directions. In my experience, the most common sin in church leadership is an obsession with numbers and results, paired with neglect of our own souls. On top of that, we rarely stop to notice how those numbers and results, and how ministry itself, are shaping us. So here's my suggestion: stop working so hard to develop your ministry and start noticing that your ministry is developing you. How you handle the realities of church leadership will determine not only what your church becomes but what you become. Leadership and ministry will form you. The only question is: into what? One tool God uses: the fishbowl Some people hesitate to become a pastor because it opens them up to scrutiny, and now and then to outright criticism. When I was a young leader, I hated the "fishbowl effect" of ministry. Everyone was watching me, and my mistakes seemed to count for a lot more than anyone else's. It felt deeply unfair that flaws that wouldn't even register at most people's jobs could cost me my job, my reputation, and my community. Never mind that maybe it bothered me so much because I had such a generous supply of those flaws. After years of living under the steady gaze of critics and cranks, I see the fishbowl differently. These days I actually welcome it. Richard Baxter, a Puritan pastor in the 1600s, put it this way: “While you are as lights set upon a hill, think not to lie hid... do your work as those that remember that the world looks on them... ready to make the worst of all... and to make faults where they cannot find them.”[1] Baxter understood that anyone who calls others to live like Jesus is going to get called out when they don't. His advice? Live like the world is watching, because it is. Some people in your life are ready to yell "Hypocrite!" at the first opportunity, to point out failings they share themselves, and, as Baxter says, even to invent faults when they can't find real ones. And Baxter's fishbowl had a few neighbors peering over the fence. Ours has a livestream, a comment section, and someone screenshotting the announcements. But Baxter goes further. He says we should be glad about it: “As you take yourselves for the lights of the churches, you may expect that men's eyes will be upon you. If other men may sin without observation, so cannot you. And you should thankfully consider how great a mercy this is, that you have so many eyes to watch over you, and so many ready to tell you of your faults; and thus have greater helps than others, at least for restraining you from sin. Though they may do it with a malicious mind, yet you have the advantage of it.” As a Pastor, you have more eyes on you and more people paying attention to how you live. That means you have more help than most in living well and avoiding sin. What some people mean for evil, God means for your good (Genesis 50:20). What looks like a downside of ministry turns out to be a path to maturity, to formation. In practical terms, living your life in front of others pushes you to do what you already know you should do. And it often keeps you out of things you might slide into if nobody were watching. One important caveat: embracing accountability isn't the same as tolerating abuse. Healthy scrutiny sharpens you. A congregant who attacks your spouse or treats your kids like church property is a different problem, and it calls for boundaries, not gratitude. Let's be clear, though: the fishbowl isn't enough on its own. What we're really after is internal: character, a changed heart. But knowing we're living out loud in front of a watching church and a watching world gives us structure, and that structure can help us build the habits and rhythms of holiness we want. As we try to let the heart and character of Christ take deeper root in us, we have the advantage of lots of eyes around us "encouraging" us to stay on the straight and narrow. My sense is that people who embrace this find that, over time, what starts on the outside moves more and more to the inside. Slowly, the choices we make because others are watching become, through habit, real character. Because I know people are watching, I think twice about what I say in public, what I scroll past on my phone, and how I talk to my kids at church or out on the sidewalk in front of the neighbors. More and more, those choices, first made because of an audience, become part of who I am. That's especially true when I treat those moments as kairos [2] moments: times when God breaks in and uses my awareness of a watching world to show me the character He wants to form in me and the choices He'd like me to make. But what if we don't embrace it? What about those who get shipwrecked by moral failure, character flaws, and private sins gone public? People who resent the fishbowl of ministry and the Christian life often end up living one way in public and another in private. It's as if their anger at being scrutinized pushes them into a divided life: they'll play by the rules in public but insist on their own rules in private. Frustrated with the audience around them, so eager to find fault, they forget the true Audience they live before. And as we've all seen from too many spectacular crash-and-burns, the fallout is often devastating. Families, churches, and the reputation of the whole Church take serious damage. Pastors, recognize that your formation is happening, one way or another… and make peace with the fishbowl. It's going to be there whether you like it or not. If you embrace it, you may find it spurring you on toward love and good deeds (Hebrews 10:24) and keeping you clear of the sins that have taken down so many in ministry before you. “You should thankfully consider how great a mercy this is, that you have so many eyes to watch over you.” Let the Holy Spirit use your public life, and every eye watching it, to shape and form you. The fishbowl and the formation of a life in ministry are coming either way. Let them help answer the question: into what? To further explore your own formation through ministry, join us at the Multiply Summit with special guest Rich Villodas this coming February in the Washington, D.C. area! Adapted from Eldership and the Mission of God by Bob Hyatt and J.R. Briggs. [1] Richard Baxter, The Reformed Pastor, London, 1657, p. 21. [2] Kairos is one of the Greek words for time, but it's different from chronos. Chronos is linear, calendar time. Kairos refers to significant moments full of possibility. Here, it means those times when God steps into chronos.
By Bob Hyatt • April 13, 2026
Here's a message from Ecclesia Pastor Aaron Graham