Sermon Feedback: 5 Ways to Discern When it’s Legit (and When People are Just Being Nice)
J.R. Briggs
February 9, 2017

As pastors we have all experienced it.

We’ve studied, prayed and prepared a sermon all week – and now we’ve just gotten done preaching our heart out. As the service ends and people begin to leave, some look us in the eyes and say, “Nice job. Good sermon.”

“Thanks,” we say with a bit of timidity and an awkward grin.

But inside we think, Really? Do they mean it or are they just saying that? If so, I wonder what did they like about it?

The truth is we don’t think they’re downright lying to us, but we’re tempted to wonder is that the whole story – and how honest were they being – really?

Feedback, as they say, is the breakfast of champions. As a feedback junky myself, I want to improve and grow in communicating God’s Word to others. But over the years I’ve struggled with this drive-by encouragement on the way out the door. How am I to know what is legitimate feedback and when are people just being pleasant, kind, nervous – or maybe unsure what else to say but “good job”? I’ve learned to listen for five specific forms of feedback that are legitimate and credible:

(1) Specificity

When people give specific feedback to a sermon I see that they were really listening, careful to take in something of importance and then articulate that to me. Instead of “Nice job, pastor,” when I hear “You know, that second point you made about God’s patience with Israel reminded me of just how patient he is with me in my own life.” Or, “That verse you read – the one about being a living sacrifice – is going to impact the way I love my wife and kids this week. I haven’t been eager to do the simple things – change diapers, unload the dishwasher or pick up the toys on the floor after a long day. But I realized today that’s a part of what Paul is talking about.”

(2) Time passed

It’s easy to hear encouragement minutes after preaching, but I listen well when someone says, “Six months ago you taught on God’s goodness, even in times of suffering. I can’t get that concept out of my head. I think about it often and it encourages me when things are difficult.” The Spirit seems to have pierced their heart in such a way that it remains within them.

(3) People’s posture and body language

Outward appearance, of course, isn’t everything; but posture and body language can be beneficial and legitimate real-time feedback of what is happening to people internally. While we preach, we can look out and notice people to get a pulse of the room. Are people are leaning in and paying attention? Are people nodding or smiling? Were tears present during that story I told about my interaction with my neighbor? Are people leaning back with their arms crossed looking bored? Are people looking down, reading and re-reading – maybe underlining – something in their Bibles? Or – unfortunately – are people sleeping?

(4) The specific, intentional and solicited feedback of trustworthy people.

I’m a feedback junky. I always want to improve and grow. Part of my rhythm in teaching and preaching is to proactively seek out spiritually mature people who I know will be both honest and honoring with feedback a day or two after I’ve preached. I find that if I ask generic questions (“So, how was it?” I will always get generic answers (“It was good”). But if I ask more specific questions, (“How helpful was the opening story during the introduction?” or “If you could summarize my sermon in a thesis statement what would it be?”) I find I get very helpful and meaningful feedback. (I’ve even developed a one-page Teaching Feedback Form that I give to people and kindly ask them to fill it out and return it to me). At times what I hear is encouraging and affirming; other times it’s pointed areas that didn’t work and how I could improve upon them. Admittedly, sometimes some of the feedback stings, but from a trusted friend or congregant, I know they mean well and desire me to sharpen my gifts – and, for that, I am grateful.

(5) The Spirit’s affirmation.

Despite what people think, the most important affirmation we could ever receive is from the Holy Spirit. Ultimately, it’s not a popularity contest and we aren’t trying to tickle the ears of our people. We are trying to serve the Lord. So, in the quiet moments in our office before heading home or when we drive home in the car, what is the Lord whispering to us? Do we sense affirmation of faithfulness to the preparation, to our motivations and to the text throughout the week – and this morning? Do we sense the affirmation of our faithfulness to the opportunity to present God’s Word? Listen to these quiet moments of affirmation or correction from the Spirit. It’s ultimately this feedback that we should pay attention to the most.

Certainly, we want to thank and express our gratitude for those who offer brief encouragement as we leave our gatherings. But lean in and pay attention most notably to the feedback given in these five forms.

 

 

 

 

The Magic Power of Encouragement

By Bob Hyatt • January 17, 2025
When I graduated from college, I moved to Alaska and took a job teaching middle school- a job I had zero business doing. I want to give props to those of you who are teachers- it’s a fantastically important job, but also a ridiculously complex one. You must balance pedagogical skills, HOW to teach so others learn, with sociological ones, classroom management, and so much more. It was classroom management where my ineptitude really shone, though. I thought managing classrooms full of middle schoolers would be easy- just call them out when they do something wrong- make sure there are consequences in place, and the place will basically run itself. I learned that year that you cannot punish someone into good behavior. You more often just punish people into stealthier ways of misbehavior. It wasn’t until years later that the light bulb came on for me. I was volunteering in my son’s kindergarten class, and I assumed I was going to be walking into a zoo. Contrary to my expectations, Mr. Waters, the teacher, had that place running like a well-oiled machine. And the most surprising way was how he did it. He called for reading time when all the kids were supposed to get up from their tables and sit on the reading circle. He made this call and like two kids responded. Oh man, I thought- he’s lost the room! Nope. He just stood at the front of the class and said “I see Billy doing what I asked. I see Sienna doing what I asked.” And every time he said that another few kids would look up, leave what they were doing and rush to take their place. In about 30 seconds, he had them all sitting quietly around the circle. Blew. My. Mind. It seemed so simple once I saw it done, but I had never realized just how big a gap there was between trying to motivate with consequences and nagging versus motivating with encouragement. Which is funny, because as I thought about it, I realized my wife had been using this tactic on me for YEARS. I married a woman who liked to dance- swing dance, even. I grew up a Baptist, so… But whenever I would do a little two-step with her in the kitchen or just play-dance with her to music in the living room, she would go OVER THE TOP. “Bob, you are doing that really well! Bob, you’re a great dancer!” I totally knew I wasn’t, but… I sure liked to hear her say it, and so I’d do it more. So, here’s the rule: What you criticize me for, I may stop doing. I may also just try to hide it from you. But- What you praise and encourage me in, I will continue doing. The Apostle Paul was a master at this- just look at 1 Thess. 5:11- ”So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” What is Paul doing here? Yes, he’s encouraging them to encourage each other by encouraging them for how they’ve already been encouraging one another! That’s a lot of encouraging. But he’s doing what he’s asking them to do- demonstrating how it works. I’m sure not everyone in the church of Thessalonica was good at encouraging others- but those who were doing it well were heartened by Paul’s words here, and those who weren’t yet, were… encouraged to be more encouraging. Paul uses the word “encourage” 7 times in 1st Thess. alone. This command to encourage each other is central in the NT. Hebrews 10:24-25 says this: Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near. Paul writes in 2 Cor. 13:11 “Dear brothers and sisters, I close my letter with these last words: Be joyful. Grow to maturity. Encourage each other. Live in harmony and peace. Then the God of love and peace will be with you.” How long can you go on one compliment, or one word of encouragement? A few days? A week? Our words have so much power! I once had an orange t-shirt, that had a disturbingly deep V-neck. My co-pastor Dustin would laugh every time he saw me in it. But you know why I continued to wear it? Because it was literally the only shirt I ever owned that had been complimented by a woman I was not married or related to. A barista one time told me she really liked that shirt… So, what I’m saying is, you can get me to do just about anything, if you encourage me. BUT- With great power, comes great responsibility. Notice that these verses on encouragement come in the context of helping others become the followers of Jesus they could and were meant to be. “Encourage each other and build each up.” “Motivate one another to acts of love and good works. Encourage one another.” “Grow to maturity. Encourage each other.” There’s a growth mindset behind the biblical admonitions that we ought to encourage each other. The growth mindset says “I may not be good at this or have mastered it… yet. But if I keep trying…” Unfortunately, most of us get stuck in a fixed mindset. A fixed mindset says “I'm either good at something, or I’m not. So, I’ll give myself only to things where I can show I’m good. If I must work at it, it means I’m not good at it, or smart enough for it, so why try?” Studies have shown that encouragement has a positive effect on performance, while discouragement has a negative effect. Ok- that’s obvious. But… studies have also been done about how TYPES of encouragement affect performance. Encouraging effort, for example, has a positive effect on performance, while praising ABILITY has a negative effect. One study showed that when two groups of students were presented with difficult challenges 90% of the ones who had been praised for their effort embraced the difficult tasks- while the majority of those praised for their ability resisted tackling hard things. I probably don’t have to spell out the leadership lessons here. So, I’ll just leave you with this: I encourage you this season to be thinking about the people you work with and especially those who work under you. They are just as hungry for encouragement as you are. You have the power to give them not only what they need, but through that encouragement to spur them on to the personal and ministry growth you want to see in them. (By the way, while we’re talking about encouragement, if you need some this season, join us Feb 25-27th in Alexandria, VA for this year’s Ecclesia National Gathering . I guarantee you and your team will leave feeling encouraged, equipped, and empowered. And think about how encouraging YOUR presence would be to everyone else!)

Focusing the Gospel Around the Table is Still Important Today

By J.R. Briggs • November 26, 2024
“Food is just fuel for your body.” When the raw vegan enthusiast in my community said it I knew that wasn’t right. I thought of all the great meals shared with family and friends around tables for Thanksgivings, Christmas Eves, and Easter afternoons – among others. I recalled the verse: “Taste and see that the Lord is good.” And I realized that if this was God’s vision for food, then he would have designed our bodies with built-in IV ports where we would hook up pouches of food to our sides and let it drip in slowly to our bloodstreams. And Jesus wouldn’t have given us the greatest experiential metaphor of communion around the table in fellowship with others if it was merely physical and transactional in nature. I get his point: what we put into our bodies matters. Food is for much more than just physical energy. It’s also about connection, bonding, and relationship. Storytelling and laughing and crying and interacting. Like former U.S. President Ronald Reagan said, all great change in America begins at the dinner table. But I’ll offer a rejoinder: all great change – no matter the country – begins at the dinner table. The U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, has declared loneliness as a public health crisis and an epidemic . 30 percent of adults say they feel lonely., with 10 percent reporting loneliness every day. 60 years ago the average dinner time was 90 minutes; today it’s less than 12. We are more connected to our devices and less connected to others. Almost twenty five years ago political scientist Robert Putnam wrote the popular book Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community . Over the summer, the New York Times interviewed him , inquiring if he saw this crisis of loneliness coming. He stressed the idea of “social capital,” saying it comes in two forms: bonding and bridging. Bonding ties us to others like us and bridging ties us to people who are different from us. Meals together with others at tables have the transformative power to do both. They bond us to other people in our church; they bridge us to connect with others who aren’t yet connected to faith. As my next-door neighbor says when we’re trying to find a time to connect for a meal, “Everybody’s gotta eat.” Coffee tables, lunch tables, high top bar tables, card tables, dinner tables – all have the intent to bring us together with others over food and/or drink. It was Len Sweet who wrote in Tablet to Table that Jesus was killed for his table manner and his table company. Later he stated that the gospel message was Jesus eating good food with bad people. In fact, you’d be hard pressed to find any gathering in the New Testament that didn’t involve some sort of table. And as Ian Simkins, lead pastor of teaching at The Bridge Church in Nashville, shared with me, the table is the centerpiece by which the gospel is expressed. The church has moved to prioritize the table by asking some key questions: What if we reclaimed the table? What if our tables weren’t for just feeding, but for forming? What if, at the table, foes became friends? What if, every time we sat down, we prayed, “at this table as it is in heaven”? What if we brought the gospel back to the table? These are the questions that must become front and center for the church in North America in the days ahead. In fact, you can view the church’s creative and compelling videos on Instagram here and here . Americans eat, on average, 21 meals a week. Think for a moment: how many meals did you share with others this week? How many meals did you eat alone this week? How many people did you share with those who weren’t your immediate family members? How many of those were with people who are not followers of Jesus? What if the greatest advancement of the gospel in the days ahead occurred not in our churches, but around tables?
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