Leadership in Question
J.R. Briggs
November 23, 2023
For People’s Lives to Change We Must Change Our Questions
Who do you know who asks great questions?
What do they do to cultivate those good questions?
What is it about the power of a question?
Have you ever wondered why we don’t ask thoughtful and significant questions in our culture more often?
Is it that we don’t know how? Are we too impatient, prideful, uninterested, or unaware? Or are we fearful – afraid of what we might find out about others – or ourselves?
What might it say about a leader who doesn’t ask questions?
What might questions provide in leadership roles that answers simply cannot?
What if the current paradigm of leader-as-expert was replaced with the paradigm of leader-as-lead-questioner?
. . .
The late organizational guru Peter Drucker said, “The leader of the past may have been the person who knew how to tell, but certainly the leader of the future will be a person who knows how to ask.” With the heavy use of the internet and the pervasive presence of smartphones and other devices, availability of information is, quite literally, at our fingertips. With our advancing technology – now even with A.I. – we don’t even need our fingers. With a voice command, we are capable of retrieving information faster and more easily than at any time in human history. With the ubiquity of Google, do we really need leaders who need to know all the right answers? And if we are looking for better answers, should we not start by asking better questions?
In its least common denominator, leadership is about trust and connection. It’s ultimately not about charisma, education, or brilliance. It’s not about gravitas or title or prestige. In this cultural moment, with too much information, fraught with cynicism and too little trust and connection, we don’t need smarter or more eloquent or more efficient leaders; instead, we need wiser, deeper, more engaged leaders.
Wisdom is developed and depth is cultivated not by knowing all the answers, but by cultivating humility to learn, insatiable curiosity to observe, patience to listen, compassion to see and hear others, and the courage to wonder. Few things create the foundation of connection and relationship more than humility. Wisdom is gained in the quality and the frequency of the questions we ask of ourselves, of God, and others. Wise leaders ask questions. I’m convinced that what the world so desperately needs right now are leaders who ask the right questions at the right time to the right people for the right reason. The challenge and invitation for us as leaders in our current age is this: can we see the importance and significance of asking honest, compassionate, incisive, courageous questions of God, ourselves, and others?
Questions are a gift we offer to others. When people ask you questions – and truly care to know you and your story, it’s a gift – a valuable gift – isn’t it? Asking great questions gives hope, opens up new possibilities, adds value, cultivates opportunities for deeper connection, and provides meaning to others and ourselves. Like a surgeon uses a scalpel to make an incision on a patient in the operating room to provide healing, leaders can deftly use questions like a scalpel on people’s hearts. I’ve found that the greatest questions asked are personal – so personal that they draw blood, not to hurt or cause damage, but to bring healing.
. . .
The Greek philosopher Socrates (469 to 399 BC) is considered one of the founders of Western philosophy. His method of question-asking, the Socratic method, placed a high value on inquiry-based dialogue that led to learning. He used questions to draw out conclusions from others that could not have occurred through mere answers. Socrates died at the age of 71 because people, specifically three men, Anytus, Meletus, and Lycon, viewed him as a threat. He stood trial and was found guilty, ultimately forced to drink poisonous hemlock. Why? Because he asked questions. People believed that Socrates’ questions, not his answers , poisoned the minds of the youth of Athens.
Socrates often used two metaphors to describe the role of questions. The first was a horsefly, intended to sting people to get their attention – and to get them moving. The second was that of a midwife. Socrates’ mode of inquiry-based dialogue, a method that draws ideas and perspectives out of someone, is called the maieutic (may–oo-dek) method. Maieutic comes from the Greek word which means midwife. Socrates’ mother was a midwife. He, too, believed that through his questions, he was a midwife, drawing out new life with others. The best questions are so powerful they either sting or bring new life – and sometimes both.
. . .
In our Christian faith, Jesus is identified as many things: savior, Lord, redeemer, rescuer, master teacher – even leader. And many in our culture are quick to revere him as the Answer Man. Even our bumper stickers claim Jesus is the answer to all of our questions. But few, if any, see Him as the Man of Questions. As Christians, we study Jesus’ miracles, stories, parables, teachings, healings, and interactions with others. But how many of us have devoted significant time to exploring Jesus’ questions? There is rich learning to be had by exploring the questions Jesus asked, as well as the way He asked them and the impact those questions had on His listeners.
If we are to follow Jesus and lead others to follow Him as well, wouldn’t it be wise to learn to emulate His question-asking posture? Answers, most certainly, continue to play an important role in our world. We need answers. But Jesus – the savior of the world – was full of questions. Consider some of the questions He asked: Which of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Why are you so afraid? What do you want me to do for you? Do you want to get well? But what about you? Who do you say that I am? What are you looking for? Do you love me?
There is hardly a page in the Gospels where Jesus wasn’t asking at least one question. The Gospels record that Jesus asked over 300 questions. It also records that He was asked over 180 questions – yet He only directly answered 5 . Roughly 1% of the time Jesus answered a question directed toward him. And yet he was quick to ask hundreds of questions of others.
May we be the kinds of humble and wise leaders who ask questions – questions the way Jesus asked them – for when we do our lives will change, as will the lives of those we interact with.
“Food is just fuel for your body.” When the raw vegan enthusiast in my community said it I knew that wasn’t right. I thought of all the great meals shared with family and friends around tables for Thanksgivings, Christmas Eves, and Easter afternoons – among others. I recalled the verse: “Taste and see that the Lord is good.” And I realized that if this was God’s vision for food, then he would have designed our bodies with built-in IV ports where we would hook up pouches of food to our sides and let it drip in slowly to our bloodstreams. And Jesus wouldn’t have given us the greatest experiential metaphor of communion around the table in fellowship with others if it was merely physical and transactional in nature. I get his point: what we put into our bodies matters. Food is for much more than just physical energy. It’s also about connection, bonding, and relationship. Storytelling and laughing and crying and interacting. Like former U.S. President Ronald Reagan said, all great change in America begins at the dinner table. But I’ll offer a rejoinder: all great change – no matter the country – begins at the dinner table. The U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, has declared loneliness as a public health crisis and an epidemic . 30 percent of adults say they feel lonely., with 10 percent reporting loneliness every day. 60 years ago the average dinner time was 90 minutes; today it’s less than 12. We are more connected to our devices and less connected to others. Almost twenty five years ago political scientist Robert Putnam wrote the popular book Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community . Over the summer, the New York Times interviewed him , inquiring if he saw this crisis of loneliness coming. He stressed the idea of “social capital,” saying it comes in two forms: bonding and bridging. Bonding ties us to others like us and bridging ties us to people who are different from us. Meals together with others at tables have the transformative power to do both. They bond us to other people in our church; they bridge us to connect with others who aren’t yet connected to faith. As my next-door neighbor says when we’re trying to find a time to connect for a meal, “Everybody’s gotta eat.” Coffee tables, lunch tables, high top bar tables, card tables, dinner tables – all have the intent to bring us together with others over food and/or drink. It was Len Sweet who wrote in Tablet to Table that Jesus was killed for his table manner and his table company. Later he stated that the gospel message was Jesus eating good food with bad people. In fact, you’d be hard pressed to find any gathering in the New Testament that didn’t involve some sort of table. And as Ian Simkins, lead pastor of teaching at The Bridge Church in Nashville, shared with me, the table is the centerpiece by which the gospel is expressed. The church has moved to prioritize the table by asking some key questions: What if we reclaimed the table? What if our tables weren’t for just feeding, but for forming? What if, at the table, foes became friends? What if, every time we sat down, we prayed, “at this table as it is in heaven”? What if we brought the gospel back to the table? These are the questions that must become front and center for the church in North America in the days ahead. In fact, you can view the church’s creative and compelling videos on Instagram here and here . Americans eat, on average, 21 meals a week. Think for a moment: how many meals did you share with others this week? How many meals did you eat alone this week? How many people did you share with those who weren’t your immediate family members? How many of those were with people who are not followers of Jesus? What if the greatest advancement of the gospel in the days ahead occurred not in our churches, but around tables?
I’ve been attending the ENG since 2008. It’s been convened in Maryland, Delaware, Florida, and Virginia – and even online during the pandemic. Pastors have asked me why I make ENG a priority and what I find so valuable. Here are 6 reasons why I never want to miss: [1] It’s Different from Other Church Leaders’ Events There are many great pastors’ events, but what initially drew me to the ENG was the feel of it. What I found so refreshing and valuable was the fact that it felt more like a family reunion than a conference or event. It’s not performative. Nobody is trying to impress one another or sell their next book coming out. Nobody is trying to measure their worth based on the size of their church or the reach of their ministry. There are no green rooms or fog machines. Nobody is treated as a celebrity. And most refreshingly, never once in all the years have I been asked, “So, how big is your church?” It’s a place where I can always be myself. [2] It’s Just the Right Size Many gatherings and conferences are large. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course. Years ago I attended these large conferences put on by very well-known churches – and I gleaned some important insights and nuggets of wisdom, for which I am grateful. But in a post-pandemic digital age, most of those conferences offer a digital package where I can watch conveniently in my office or home when I want to. I’ve gleaned a lot from our ENG speakers, where I’ve taken copious notes. Most years, what I’ve gleaned most was off of the stage and during the informal spaces of connection and interaction. The Ecclesia National Gathering is large enough to pull together pastors and their teams for meaningful content, yet small enough to cultivate deep connections naturally among other attendees. [3] Reconnecting with Old Friends and Meeting New Ones Since I’ve been attending for so many years, and other pastors have as well, it becomes a great space to reconnect with friends. Hugs and high-fives and asking about each other’s families is common throughout the time. There are lengthy times at night over drinks, talking about how we’re doing, what we’re learning, and where we’re seeing God at work in our contexts. It’s a place where I feel extremely comfortable to share the joys and also the heartaches with other pastors, leaders, and friends. But this isn’t just for the insiders. I love seeing new pastors and leaders attending and introducing them to others. Through the years, many newcomers have told me how surprised they’ve been at how welcoming the event has felt, where they could easily and naturally jump in and connect with others without feeling the need to sound impressive – where they could just be themselves. [4] Engaging in Unique Conversations Pastor Mark Batterson has said, “Change of pace plus change of place equals change of perspective.” Large conferences can be beneficial and online events have added value to my life, leadership, and ministry. But nothing can replace the lingering conversations with a mixture of folks, oftentimes over a drink at night, where we end up discussing and exploring topics that are life-giving, enlightening, and informative. Many of these have changed my perspective, reminded me of what’s most important, and sparked new ideas and creative initiatives we’ve launched. But most significantly, during these spaces I am reminded of what’s most important – stories of life change, the power of the gospel, and the depth of meaningful relationships in ministry. And I realize that as great as email, social media, and even Zoom can be to connect me digitally with people across the miles, nothing can replace this life-giving interaction at these events. [5] The Schedule Is Balanced and “Breathable” Many conferences I have attended in the past pack the schedule from morning until night with great content and programming. But I have often left those events with my body and soul feeling exhausted and my brain like a bowl of oatmeal. What I appreciate about ENG is that the programming and schedule has “breathing room.” There’s not wasted time, but it operates at a pace and capacity that is doable for busy and tired pastors and leaders. [6] There are Surprises from the Spirit Every Time As great as the programming is – both the plenary sessions and breakouts – there are still things that are unplanned – and oftentimes they are the most meaningful. Because the schedule isn’t packed from early in the morning to late at night, the Spirit always moves. Because it’s breathable the Spirit often blows. Sometimes the Spirit shows up by way of a soft and gentle reminder from a speaker. Other times, it is a clear word from the Lord during worship. And still other times it is in the form of a much-needed word of encouragement from a friend during conversation who was prompted to share something with me or pray something over me. The ENG isn’t just another pastors’ event – it’s where leaders connect, learn, and have space to be refreshed and be themselves in an authentic and meaningful space. If you haven’t attended yet, come and experience it for yourself.
